HoTHeAdsPikEn

Fuck this bitch ass. I'm through. 

If you only fucking knew. 

I could have made a great boyfriend/ husband(maybe) the circumstances are fucked so at this point it may never happen. Sad that it's hard for him to get his shit together and no I don't need to help. I'm so stressed out over this trip. I feel like crying but I have to keep it together. I just wanted to feel someone close and touching me before leaving and he refused but he was able to get on Grindr. Go figure a random slut can get his gears going just not me. 

Uri go fuck yourself between angel Madison, Chris natomas, the 15th and j brd garden guy. You are a loser I hate you. You got gonorreah from one of them you sick fuck and you would do shit with any of those ugly hoes and not me. You are a loser don't comeback JUST FUCKING PAY ME BACK HOE. 

I hope he doesn't ask me again to do his shit. I don't have money.

I don't need to be asked what I did. I don't ask you. You mentioned all kinds of shit lately and I don't ask so please don't ask me. You say I needed to fuck and someone wants you so go ahead. Do what you need to do but don't ask me shit unless you want to bang me ok. Thanks. Bye. 

I need to have sex soon. Jerking off isn't cutting it.

If could turn back. I would have stayed home for a while longer rather then coming to Sacramento or I would have suggested a different city other than sac to live with him. I don't think he realizes he has more issues than he thinks he has. I can't be manipulated anymore. 

I'm getting tired of it. If it's not one thing is another. Fuck i don't even eat breakfast in the morning but Mr. royalty has to have it or he dies. He doesn't know we all need something i just don't bitch about it as much as he does.

Fuck Valentine's Day. I used to like it many years ago. I don't want to hear people telling me try got shit from anyone anymore. I'm going back to sleep. My moms house is quiet. I would like to ask him to come later I just don't want to hear him say shit or just talked all night and not being able to sleep and see him throw tantrums in he morning before going to work. I'm tired. 

It's officially over! Phone gone, memories gone. 

Stereotypical white men trying to find ugly Asians dudes to fuck or be with however when shit goes wrong he will text them and email them until they go insane. You had it good with me. I'm a nice guy. Crazy when I feel disrespected even after we decided to try he was still trying to hook. Son of bitch. I hate you. 

I did think I would die with him... Dreams just dreams or nightmares I don't know. 

Always the second choice or the whatever I need choice. 

If I was enough why ignored me all FUCKING DAY and just be cryptic when he got a hold of me. You dug your grave. 

I don't think I asked for too much now I've reached my breaking point even I didn't want to teach it. 

One day I'll be beautiful, not stupid, not garbage or an idiot. I'll be thin and sexy. I'll start working on it. I was never that disgusting as he thinks. Maybe someday will be able to touch me again and actually love me again. 

No more Mr. Nice guy. I told him one day and he wants more. I will no longer speaks to him. 

I wish i could still be his friend i just don't think that will be the case even if that's what i want. I paid for storage and gave him $20.00 and was still harassed in the morning and called names. I told him i wouldn't act on my repressed feeling and i  meant it however i don't know what to do now. Why do i feel this way i don't know. I feel manipulated every time we talk, i always have to end up feeling bad or it's all my fault yet sometimes doing shady shit led you to end up in a bad place. Why can't i be nice with you? because i don't like feeling like shit and feel degraded when i talk to him. It always starts nice until he doesn't hear what he wants to hear then he turns into the monster i like to get away from. Odd jobs for year i would have realized that i needed a job after my first failure(west sac), somehow that wasn't the case. I wish he doesn't harasses me today. I've dealt with enough this week and i have to catch up with h...

What the fuck happened to my life?

What behavior did you deal with? I felt i was walking on glass. You had so many secrets and lies going on i just wanted you to be honest from the beginning. I get weird around people i feel are lying to me. I thought maybe i was wrong and never was direct about anything cuz i was afraid of pushing you away. I tiptoed around you and your place. I didn't make advances on you unless you started it. I didn't know you were seeing someone. You shouldn't have been lying to me. I never once left your place to hook up EVER. I didn't ever have sex with Jim but one time maybe two. I was into you and didn't want anything else. You were wrong making me out to be something i wasnt. Saying i raped you. Are you serious?

I fell in love again with him like when I first met him. I thought he would be my Prince Charming again and that's is gone. 

Sacramento is such an awful city 

He just wanted to jump on his car. Obsessively attracted to him and not me anymore.